Week 2 left us with no shortage of storylines; from questionable rulings, laughable gaffs, and a few WTF moments from the Sunday nighter, we’ve got it all for you in this week’s Sunday Sprint.
Las Vegas Raiders 26- Pittsburgh Steelers 17
Pittsburgh wasted no time backing the Corvette out of the win column with a calamity of errors against the now undefeated Raiders. Adding insult to injury was the injury to TJ Watt, the heartbeat of the Steelers defence is now slated to miss some time. Given the form of Big Ben, the defence will be getting a healthy amount of reps so this is absolutely cause for concern. As for the Raiders, I don’t even think they know how they got to 2-0 with the roster they have but at least for the time being, Derek Carr is an undefeated quarterback.
San Francisco 49ers 17- Philadelphia Eagles 11
If you’re a fan of offence this was certainly not the game for you. Despite the painfully slow pace for Jimmy G and the 49ers, Kyle Shannahan said he “never had the urge” to put Trey Lance in. They may have won but something tells me it won’t be long before all of San Francisco feels the urge to see Trey.
Cleveland Browns 31- Houston Texans 21
In what might get rebranded as the Injury Bowl, Davis Mills managed to attempt seven more passes than Tyrod Taylor and have three less completions. And yes you read that right, a team’s two options in the 2021 NFL season were in fact Tyrod Taylor and Davis Mills, are you confused as to why they lost? The two Texans weren’t the only QBs to take a trip to the injury tent, with Baker Mayfield having to shake off an ailment en route to the win.
Denver Broncos 23- Jacksonville Jaguars 13
For all our hockey fans out there, let me give you an idea of the level at which the Jacksonville Jaguars are at: they’re the Oilers. All the best picks and absolutely no talent holding the clipboard to put it all together. Lawrence was slated as the McJesus equivalent but instead it was Teddy Bridgewater who looked holier than thou today.
Carolina Panthers 26- New Orleans Saints 7
The honeymoon phase is over for Sean Peyton and his new starting quarterback Jameis Winston, who was a big reason his team had zeros on the board through the first three quarters. Winston looked to be eyeing another 30/30 season with two picks, no TDs, and an outing that had fans up and down Louisiana begging for Brees. On the other side, Sam Darnold continues to show us that he wasn’t the problem in New York…
Los Angeles Rams 27- Indianapolis Colts 24
I am patiently waiting for my apology from everyone who said I was wrong to call Carson Wentz a bust. The Colts’ new starter threw a pick…at the three yard line…on a shovel pass before having to be sat for the end of the game due to injury. Wentz may have a Super Bowl ring to help muffle the sound of the criticism but if his pattern continues, no amount of diamonds will be enough to distract from the noise. Someone who isn’t having to deal with any of that is Matthew Stafford who seems to be basking in the LA sun more and more every week thanks to a wealth of talented hands to catch his passes.
Buffalo Bills 35- Miami Dolphins 0
Did anyone realize Jacoby Brisset was now a Dolphin or was I the only one who missed that update? Don’t be surprised if some of the Dolphins themselves hadn’t noticed as the offence looked to be all kinds of out of sync one Tua went down with a rib injury. The only thing left to figure out now is if Dolphins fans are in more pain from a shutout than Bills fans are from jumping on flaming tables.
New England Patriots 25- New York Jets 6
In a showdown of rookie quarterbacks it was the 15th overall pick that appeared the veteran. Bill Belichick got back to his bread and butter playing dink and dunk inside the numbers with some white guy under centre, and he even got some help from Jets QB Zach Wilson who completed four passes to the Patriots. All in all this game was just a reminder that if you’re a rookie QB and see The Hoodie on your schedule, consider calling in sick that day.
Chicago Bears 20- Cincinnati Bengals 17
After the Red Rifle had to go in for maintenance, Bears fans got a real look at Fields. Despite his interception, the future of football on the midway looks bright as long as Matt Nagy and Co don’t mess this one up (meaning there’s a 50/50 chance that within 2 seasons the lights are off and the midway is just an abandoned boardwalk).
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48- Atlanta Falcons 25
Dear Tom Brady,
Please retire.
Sincerely,
Everyone
Arizona Cardinals 34- Minnesota Vikings 33
New kicker, same problems. Five years after Blair Walsh shanked the winning field goal wide in a playoff game against Seattle, Greg Joseph treated Vikings fans to more of the same, but at least this time the stakes were lower. It was a shootout between Kyler Murray and Kirk Cousins that got Joseph to the game winning kick and uh I think it’s safe to say that Kirk did not like that.
Tennessee Titans 33- Seattle Seahawks 30
Julio Jones was in bounds, send tweet.
Dallas Cowboys 20- Los Angeles Chargers 17
Cowboys fans can rejoice now that Greg the Leg has relocated his kicking leg while there’s still time to salvage the season. Last week’s punch line became this week’s hero when he drilled the game winning field goal dead centre as time expired on Herby and the Bolts.
Baltimore Ravens 36- Kansas City Chiefs 35
No bathroom breaks in this one as Lamar Jackson RB1’d his way to a win in primetime in a matchup we all had over before it started. This one will go down as the Chiefs beating themselves with some comical coverages and missed assignments, but it’s nothing Andy Reid and Mahomes won’t bounce back from.
What was your favourite moment from Sunday? Let us know on Twitter!
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