We’re baaaaack!! By we I mean me and by me I mean your weekly dose of football sarcasm seasoned with analysis. Did you miss it? If you’re reading this I’ll assume you did so let’s cut the time wasting and get right into what went down on Sunday.
New England Patriots 17- Pittsburgh Steelers 14
Ever hook up with someone who you think is an 8 but turns into a 3 when the lights go on? Yeah that was this win for the Patriots, not looker but it got the job done. While it was a defensive battle between the two longest tenured head coaches in the league, it certainly left both with a lot to work on for the rest of the season, namely offensive coherence for both squads.
New York Giants 19- Carolina Panthers 16
I don’t know what makes less sense, the helmet catch or the fact that a Daniel Jones lead Giants squad is 2-0 in 2022. While I could sit here and point out that they haven’t played the best quality of opposition or that they barely made it out by the skin of their teeth, credit where credit is due to what is clearly an incredibly resilient Brian Daboll group. With the Prescott injury down in Dallas the NFC is up for grabs and we’re in for a hell of a battle.
New York Jets 31- Cleveland Browns 30
I would say I feel bad for Cleveland collapsing to the Jets but we’ve all seen what the Browns fanbase has been up to so this feels like poetic justice.
Jacksonville Jaguars 24- Indianapolis Colts 0
Matty Ice has gone ice cold since joining the Colts which is awkward given Indy acquired him to win games that were previously unwinnable for whatever reason, like in Jacksonville. Thankfully for the Jaguars, their meeting with the Colts came earlier this season so there’s a chance the sputtering excuse of a football operation gets off the ground before the last week of the season.
Miami Dolphins 42- Baltimore Ravens 38
I missed the part in science class where the raven devolved to a falcon.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 20- New Orleans Saints 10
Brady finally managed to beat the Saints as a Buc but could it have cost him his marriage? Regardless, we seem to be back on track of Bucs’ opponents always being the bridesmaid and never the bride.
Detroit Lions 36- Washington Commanders 27
Put your hand up if you had the Detroit Lions putting up a combined 71 points through the first 2 weeks of the season on your 2022 bingo card. Now put your hand down, liar.
San Francisco 49ers 27- Seattle Seahawks 7
No Lance, no problem for the 49ers who were forced to rely on the league’s most expensive backup a little earlier than perhaps expected. Thankfully they did fork over a forklift of money to keep Jimmy G in the Bay area, where he will now start for the remainder of 2022. As for Seattle, Gino Smith came crashing back down to Earth after owning the Broncos in Week 1. The Seahawks made their bed keeping Carroll over Wilson, now it’s time to see how long they lie in it.
Los Angeles Rams 31- Atlanta Falcons 27
That was much more like it from the defending Super Bowl champions but they left it too close for comfort at the end against a team notorious for being incapable of closing out games. There are currently more questions surrounding the Rams than there are diamonds in their rings and the priceless question becomes how do they produce on the field with pieces from the blinged out lineup having moved on to other teams.
Arizona Cardinals 29- Las Vegas Raiders 23
Vegas may have raided the Packers crown jewel in Davante Adams but nobody cares about your shiny new piece if you don’t take it out of the house. The Cardinals found a way to lock down Adams, limiting the star to just 2 catches which is his lowest total since 2017 when it was Green Bay backup Brett Hundley tossing him the ball. As for Arizona’s offense, Kyler Murray may not be able to see over his offensive line but he can certainly scramble around them and did just that to force this one to overtime. Guess he’s been doing his homework.
Denver Broncos 16- Houston Texans 9
It’s amazing what happens when you leave your $245 million QB on the field, right Nathaniel Hackett? The Broncos found a way to fall behind to the lowly Texans but stuck with the new face of the franchise long enough for him to cook up a fourth quarter comeback, managing to stave off the most egregious of alarm bells in the mile high.
Dallas Cowboys 20- Cincinnati Bengals 17
I guess there was no need to rush to conclusions that the Cowboys would be done for as Dak went down, eh? Cooper Rush looked more than capable of holding down the fort in Prescott’s absence, even though he was playing a bumbling Bengals defense that has yet to come down from a Super Bowl high.
Green Bay Packers 27- Chicago Bears 10
Yup, he still owns them.
Week 3 features a ton of super intriguing divisional matchups that promise to make next week’s Sunday Sprint a war zone, but until then, enjoy the week ahead in the NFL.